Really?
by Ireallyneedabetterpenname
Summary: America and Germany talk to each other over the phone. Will be updated occasionally. Has mentions of certain parts of the female reproductive system in chapter 2.
1. Chapter 1: USA USA USA!

"_USA, USA, USA_!" Germany cringed and held his phone away from his ear. He huffed. It was just like America to call and spout his patriotic sentiment, although why he was currently doing so was a mystery. After all, Germany had been the victor in their football (soccer) match.

"Alfred, you do realize you lost?"

"_Dude, who cares about that? I'm the hero! USA! USA_!"

Germany groaned. Yes, America was going into the knockout round. Yes, it had been a tense game, but seriously? America was never this excited about soccer. Ever. Germany began a useless attempt to quiet America.

"America, you know your head coach and some of your players are German or of German descent, right? "

"_Well_.."

Yes, Germany thought. Maybe he'll speak in a normal tone of voice!

"It doesn't matter! USA! USA!"

Germany sighed again. Never mind…

"Why did you even call America?"

"_To tell you I, the hero, am awesome!"_

Then, of course, Prussia walked in and heard only the word "awesome."

"Who's awesome?"

"_I the hero am awesome_!" Replied America

"NOT AWESOMER THAN THE AWESOME PRUSSIA!"

"_Well obviously the hero is!"_

Germany held the phone an arm's length away and checked it wasn't on speaker. How could America be so loud? Meanwhile, Prussia and America were still arguing.

"PLEASE, WITHOUT THE AWESOME ME YOU WOULD STILL BE ENGLAND'S COLONY!"

"Would you both shut up!" Germany roared.

"America, good luck against Belgium, now _Good Bye._" And with that, Germany slammed down the phone. He shoved Prussia out of the way, and sat down hoping he could get a little bit of peace and quiet. But then, the doorbell rang. When Germany opened the door he was greeted by a sobbing Italy.

"Germany, Germany, Uruguay bit me!" which he proved by tugging on his shirt to show bite marks on his shoulder. Once again, Germany sighed. He really needed that beer…

**Author's Note: Thanks to my sister, for editing this. Thanks to you, the reader for reading this! **


	2. Chapter 2: This is Awkward

Germany was not looking forward to this phone call. Maybe he could just leave a voicemail?

"Hey, it's the hero!"

Or not...

Germany sighed. Best get it over with now. "America, this is Germany."

"Yo, Germany Dude! What's up?"

"Would you please control your exchange students?!"

"Why, what happened?"

Huh. At least America is willing to listen… "One of them got stuck in 'Pi-Chacan!"

"Dude, what is that?"

"'It took 22 firemen and some paramedics to get him out!"

"Seriously, what is this...Pee-Chaka?"

"Pi-Chacan!" Oh _MeinGott_. How am I supposed to explain this to him?! "It is… It… It's… It's a sculpture of part of the female reproductive system." _Please tell me America can connect the dots..._

"Wait, what? A 'part of the female reproductive system'?"

Come on Alfred… "Yes America, do I have to spell it out for you?"

"You mean, the Vagina?"

"...yes."

"Dude, that's hilarious!"

"No it's not! _22 firemen!"_

"HAHAHAHA! Is that why you called?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Thanks, I needed that, that's so funny!"

"America! I'm being serious. Please control your exchange students!"

"But.. HAHAHA! Someone got stuck in a giant vagina!"

Of course, Prussia walked in as America was yelling through the phone.

"What's this about a vagina?"

"Nothing Prussia. Go away."

At this point Prussia made a successful grab for the phone.

"America, what's Germany hiding from me?"

"Dude, it's hilarious! An exchange student got stuck in a giant vagina!"

"KESESESESESES! I'm totally daring France to do that!"

"Really dude? That would be awesome! Send me a picture of it!"

At this point, Germany had had enough.

"NEIN! DO NOT WASTE MY FIRST RESPONDERS TIME!"

"Aww… but west, where else are we going to find a giant marble vagina?"

"Prussia, don't go looking for one. America, control your exchange students. GOOD BYE!"

Oddly enough, France was found stuck in that same sculpture a couple days later.

**So I think this can still be rated T. As the summary says, this fanfiction may be occasionally updated. By the way, this did actually happen. An American exchange student got stuck in the sculpture trying to take a picture of himself in it, I think. Reviews, as always, would be nice. :)**


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